


Taken Out (by security)

by kiwanana



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Jealousy, Swan Queen Week, dating game show au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4339799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwanana/pseuds/kiwanana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Regina found out Zelena had signed them both up to a dating show she hadn't expected to enjoy it. Nor had she expected the gorgeous blonde woman standing next to her.</p><p>Based on the dating game show 'Take Me Out'. Summary of show inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taken Out (by security)

**Author's Note:**

> Take Me Out is a dating game show where 30 women hope to win a date with a single man. Each women has a podium and a 'light', if they don't like the man they turn off their light. There are 3 rounds and only the man can turn off lights in the third to choose someone to date. After the first round the man picks a 'Love at first Light' woman who catches his eye, which is then revealed after he has chosen a date. 
> 
> TL;DR Trashy dating show au where the women choose if they like the guy or not by turning off their light.

When Regina found out Zelena had signed her up to a dating show she hadn't expected to enjoy it. Nor had she expected the gorgeous blonde woman standing next to her.

Emma managed to get Regina to relax enough to joke along with the other women. Well that and the flask of liquor Zelena had shoved at her in the car beforehand.

She smiled more, laughed more, and had more fun than she had thought she would.

She couldn't help but laugh at the outrageous innuendoes from the other women as they tried to win a date. Nor could she stop snickering at the comments from the women who didn't want a date. They were brutally honest, and it was great!

It wasn't until Killian from New Orleans came down the ‘Love Lift’ - no matter how much she enjoyed her time on the show there were some thing she couldn't forgive - that she realised why she was having such a good time.

She kept her light on in the first round. But as his video played and the boat came on screen she didn't hesitate to turn off the light.

"Regina!" She sighed as Archie the host called out her name as he bounded her way. "Now, why did you turn your light off?"

She smirked as she met Killian's challenging smile. "It's obvious, isn't it, Archie?"

"What's obvious?"

It was as quiet as the show could get as they waited. She had everyone in the palm of her hand. She was going to relish crushing him. The smug bastard. "He's wearing more eyeliner than I am."

The first thing she heard was a snort beside her then everyone else began laughing. She turned to see Emma bent forward over her podium. Her blonde curls covered her face as her shoulders heaved.

Emma glanced up as she covered her mouth with her palm still laughing. “It so true.” She finally whispered before dissolving into giggles.

Regina smirked turning back to Killian who was glaring her way. She waved at him mockingly before she saw his eyes soften seductively as they glanced to her right. She turned and saw Emma meeting his gaze with the kind smile she reserved for all the men.

Regina’s breath caught in her throat as she looked back at Killian. She gasped softly at the wink he sent Emma’s way. Leaving no doubt in her mind what name he’d written down for his ‘Love at first Light’. All she could focus on was the pounding of her heart as Killian edged closer. Turning off lights of women around them. 

She held her breath as Emma’s light remained on, hers and a woman named Milah on the other side of the stage. He asked a question she paid no attention to, all her attention on Emma.

It wasn’t until he approached Emma that her hearing came back and she heard the audience and the other women shouting. He leaned over and Regina heard him say that if she couldn’t love the ship then he couldn’t love her. He kissed her on the cheek with simple ‘Sorry’, as he turned off her light.

Regina slumped slightly over the podium as Archie rambled on about Killian and Milah making a match before they walked up the stairs and off the stage.

She met Emma’s eyes, as the woman shrugged, “Can’t win ‘em all.”

The relief coursing through her was shocking. It wasn't until she noted Emma chatting with Tamara on her other side that she finally realized why she was having such a good time.

\----------

The next week - after a quick chat with the producers about maybe, possibly leaving her light on for anyone, we don’t care who, just someone, Regina, please – came Robin.

Regina left her light on the first round, with many other women. His smile was charming, his accent smooth. And she did enjoy the rugged look. She had a type. She gained a side-eye from Emma when her light remained on after his video.

She would never admit it out loud but she’d given up turning the light off when she saw he’d taken in his nephew after his sister had passed on. A man with a toddler was a weakness. Well, anyone with a toddler was her weakness. They were just so goddamn cute.

She took a deep breath as Archie made his way over to her. As he approached it felt like Zelena was standing beside her whispering horrible innuendoes in her ear. She smirked as Archie stopped before her podium.

“Regina!” he said acting scandalized. “You’re light’s still on! Why’s that?”

“Well,” She cleared her throat smiling at Robin. “Camping may seem like quite a departure from someone as prim and proper as myself. But I don’t mind getting down and dirty.” She winked at Robin as the women and audience laughed loudly.

Archie moved on to someone else as Regina watched Emma from the corner of her eye. She seemed in a state of shock with her mouth open as she blatantly stared at Regina.

“Everything alright, dear?” Regina whispered.

“Did you actually just say that? Or is my mind imagining things again?” The blonde ran a hand through her hair. Regina watched the curls fall back down to her shoulders. She’d give anything to have her own hands run through the locks…

“I did say it. But if you think that’s something you imagine often, I’d be very interested to see what other things you’ve thought about me saying.” She said softly. Smiling as a blush grew on Emma’s cheeks. “Or doing.” She added.

Emma turned her face to the front, cheeks now a lovely shade of pink. Archie made his way back to Robin who seemed confused, now faced with turning the remaining women’s lights off until two remained.

He made his way over to her side, turning off two lights as he grew closer. He stopped in front of her, Emma reached over her podium as did the other girls playfully blocking his hands from the button. Robin rested his hands on her podium and stared her down.

Red light bathed her as the effect sounded of her light turning off. She glanced down at the button before meeting his apologetic eyes before he moved on. She watched him walk to the other side of the stage.

She barely paid attention to him choosing Marian before the ad break. She shook herself from her thoughts and tried to get Emma’s attention.

The blonde didn’t turn her way, chatting with Ruby who had replaced Tamara after she won a date with Greg.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to Kathryn. She struck up an easy conversation with the woman, loving her slightly cynical approach to life and the show. Seemed they had many things in common.

As she spoke she couldn't’ banish one thought – image – from her mind. The image of soft, female hands pressing on Regina’s light, as rugged male hands continued to hold the outer edges of her podium.

\----------

Regina ignored the interns rushing out of her way. She continued her march toward HER office that Zelena had oh-so-kindly taken over for her ‘vacation’.

“Get me off that show!” She announced swinging the door wide open and slamming it shut.

Zelena didn’t even look up from her computer as she continued typing. “How lovely to see you, sister. Why ever have you graced me with your presence?”

Regina snarled at the mocking tone. Stalking up to the desk slammed her hands down on the polished oak. When that got no response she grabbed wireless keyboard and held it hostage.

“Hey! Totally uncalled for.” Zelena sighed leaning back in her – Regina’s chair. “Why do you want off the show?”

“Because it’s stupid?! Get. Me. Out.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Yes, remember that word? Means negative. No can do.”

Regina fell into the chair opposite her desk. She finally realised why so many people fidgeted when they came to meet her - it was really uncomfortable. “Why can’t you?”

“You signed the contract,” Zelena shrugged, it was slightly apologetic, mostly condescending, but then again that summed up Zelena in a nutshell.

“What about the contract?”

“It’s seasonal. You’re on for the whole season. Unless…”

“Unless what?” Regina perked up, her hands tightening around the keyboard in anticipation of a loophole. God damn, she loved a good loop hole, especially if she could get out of this godforsaken show, and away from Emma.

“Unless…” Zelena paused for effect, continuing when it looked as though Regina was going to throw the keyboard at her head. “You get a date.”

Regina groaned loudly as she slumped in the seat. “No, I won’t do it." 

“How bad are these men? Honestly?”

“Bad enough to go on this show.” Regina mumbled as her hopes were crushed. She’d have to stay on the show for weeks on end. Stand beside Emma, and smile at men that held no interest for her. She’d have to watch their eyes slither up and down her body, and Emma’s, and hide any disgust she felt.

“Maybe I can get myself fired.”

“Oh really? And how would you go about sullying your reputation like that?”

“By getting what I really want.” Regina sat up straighter. A plan was beginning to form in her head. Absurd? Yes. Inappropriate? Definitely. Enough ot get her fired? Hell yes.

Zelena watched a flurry of emotions move across Regina’s face. She leant forward as her sister’s mind whirled. “You’re not interested in the men are you?”

Regina hummed noncommittally. Focused more on the plan than the conversation. Which was what lead to her answering the next question honestly.

“What’s her name?”

“Emma.” It took a moment for her brain to register what she’d said. When her eyes focused on her sister the wicked grin on her face was answer enough. “I was kidding!”

“You were not!” Zelena laughed. “Oh this is brilliant!”

Her laughter followed Regina as she marched to the door. She tossed the keyboard on the sofa as Zelena called out, “Make it good, Regina! Make it worthwhile!”

Regina smiled as she walked from her office, marginally more calm than when she’d stormed in.

She had a plan. Now all she had to do was follow it.

\----------

Neal looked like he’d grabbed his clothes from a charity bin. Emma seemed interested. 

That wouldn’t do.

Setting her shoulders back she decided now was the time.

She watched him smile at Emma – once again it was obvious he’d written her name for ‘Love at first Light’ – winking when he thought no one was looking.

It wasn’t until Emma turned off her own light that Regina was shocked from her determined mindset.

“Emma, your lights off! Thought things were looking good for you!” Archie exclaimed leaning against Emma’s podimum as the woman shrugged.

“I came on this show to find someone special, Archie,” Emma spoke seriously, continuing quickly as Archie looked ready to interrupt. “And I think I have.”

“But… but your light's out.” Archie said, his eyes searching the dark corners of the studio for someone on the crew to help him out. There wasn’t a plan for this apparently.

 “That’s cause the person I found isn’t standing in that circle.” Emma pointed to Neal, who looked really hurt for a man that had barely talked to Emma.

 “…I don’t understand.” Archie said, stepping away slowly. The other women were shocked into silence, except Kathryn who moved forward to whisper in Regina’s ear.

 “Seems like someone’s caught your girls eye.” Regina elbow nicked Kathryn’s side as the woman chuckled quietly. Maybe drunkenly telling Kathryn her plan at a bar after one of the shows was a bad idea. Tension filled the studio as they all waited on Emma’s words.

 “I don’t like any of the men that have come before us.” Emma took a deep breath. “Probably cause I like one of the women on this stage.”

A chorus of gasps sounded out from various places in the studio. Whispers began spreading rumours of who caught the popular blonde’s eye. Emma turned to Regina with a look in her eye that held her in place.

“Please don’t hate me. But I really like you.” Emma whispered before closing the small gap between their podiums. Her soft hands cupped Regina’s cheeks and pulled her into a kiss.

Regina held herself stiffly as Emma pulled away slowly. “I’m so-“

“You stole my plan!” Regina blurted out.

“What?” Emma’s hands dropped from her face, her brow furrowed in confusion.

“I was supposed to make the grand gesture! I was supposed to kiss _you_!” Regina shouted, her hands flying into the air in aggravation.  

“You were going to kiss me?”

“Yes!”

“Well then… what’s stopping you?”

When Regina was accepted to the show to find a single man to date she never expected to fall for one of the other women. Nor did she expect her to be so good at kissing that they had to be escorted away by security due to ‘inappropriate behaviour’.

It wasn’t her fault her hands had a mind of their own. And it definitely wasn't her fault for enjoying to so much. 


End file.
